Something Ventured, Nothing Gained


What Being With Him Cost Me

  1. I neglected my best friend, in a time of need. Her husband died, and while I was present at the end and after the funeral, a fall semester that should have been dedicated to checking on her was spent avoiding her. Because I couldn’t deal with my own stupid life.  I can’t shake that feeling and I can’t make up for it. I hurt my closest confidant.
  2. My job, that I loved and had for eight years. Enough said.
  3. Someone I used to work with that only casually knew me commented the other day that she felt like I was just a liar. Because I wasn’t honest about my life. Casual friends want nothing to do with me.
  4. I owe money to everyone I’ve ever met now.  I used to be financially responsible and I am not longer even close to independent.
  5. I didn’t see my parents or my grandmother more than twice from August to December.
  6. I had a great life up until July. I was happy, and moving toward being ready to really meet someone to share my life with. I’m back to square one and want everyone away from me.
  7. My life isn’t the same. I live in a different city, in a different place, and I miss the old stuff.
  8. I don’t trust myself to do the right thing anymore.

What Being With Him Gained Me

  1. I wasn’t lonely sometimes this fall.

That’s all I’ve got right now.  I hope in time I will see something better from this.  But for right now…it sucks.

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