Table For 1

Hi there. Come here often?

Oh…who am I kidding? I’m not cut out for lines like that, and that’s probably why I’m in the predicament that I am in right now.  I’m in my mid-twenties and I haven’t been on a proper date in…years.  It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I don’t know how.  Between dating someone my entire high school and college career, and then being in the perpetual “hang out stage” with several men (boys, let’s be honest..) in the two years since that relationship went south…I’m rusty.

By my calculations I haven’t been on a date since I was 16.  And it’s even worse, statistically speaking, for the last time I actually successfully navigated the waters of flirtation and indicated I was interested in someone.  Because I met someone and settled down so early, I never dated much anyway. I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve been attracted to, interested in, on a date with, and kissed. It’s embarrassing. How do I break out of this?

It shouldn’t be this complicated, one would think, for me to find a date.  I am witty, interesting, caring, and polite. I DESERVE A DATE! I’m not even saying relationship, people! I’m saying a date.  It’s very simple.  He picks me up, he pays for dinner, we awkwardly chat, and that’s it. But it’s not simple.  It is hard for a normal, polite, twenty-something girl to meet a likeminded person.  I have a very full life. I have a full time job, lots of friends. I stay busy. I exercise three times a week.  But clearly I’m not doing the things I should be doing to meet people.

Friends and family have given advice.  I’ve avoided set ups, tossed aside relationship advice books, and generally given a very stern answer of “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!”  But lately I’m not so sure that I can.  The final straw came when I was out at a bar, wearing my newest and hottest outfit.  A man approached me, and I excitedly straightened up in my seat, and turned on my charm.  The conversation was going great, until he leaned in and said “So, hey, listen…I’m trying to propose to my girlfriend here at the bar.  You seem vivacious, can you get the entire bar to quiet down?”  I laughed.  Really hard.  And then helped him propose to his girlfriend. But this made me think.  What am I doing? How am I meeting people? Am I meeting people? The answer to the last question is “No”  And it’s mostly because I think I know best…

I mean, nobody’s going to bust into my apartment while I’m watching Gilmore Girls reruns for the 100th time and say “Here I am! Let’s go on a date!” And I’ve had the same job for three years, and it seems unlikely that a large pool of eligible bachelors will be traipsing through my office wanting to take me out all of a sudden.  I have to do something different.  I’ve tried it my way, and as much as I don’t trust the other way, I’m going to try it.  I’m buying all the dating advice books I can find, I’m asking friends for their opinions, and I’m following their advice.  And because odd situations seem to find me everywhere I go, I’m inviting you to read along and at the very least be amused at my total lack of abilities in the dating world.

I’m the blonde, ready to be led by the absolute blind, dating-advice blind, that is.