Remember how I complained about Bachelor Number 3 and his “too much, too soon” approach? I guess a better thing for me to have done in that situation, rather than coming here and blogging about “wanting to take time to slow things down with potential bachelors”, would have been to grab a giant lightening rod, run out into a storm (there’s been plenty of opportunity for that lately, sheesh!) and started screaming “HEY! UNIVERSE! I’M DOWN HERE!” At least it would have been a quicker administration of karma/justice than this three-week-long, mind-numbing text fest that is Bachelor Number 5.
Bachelor Number 5 came out of the week of the OKCupid explosion. I had five or six messages over there from different individuals, after not having logged in for a little over a month. Bachelor Number 5 impressed me because, after I received an automated notification that Bachelor Number 5 and I had both rated one another a 4 or higher, he actually took the initiative to send me a message. “I see that we are interested in other another,” began his email. Color me impressed, someone actually is taking the direct approach rather than waiting on me to make a move? I probably would have written back to anyone on OKCupid that didn’t expect me to engage in a game of internet-dating-chicken where we stare at profiles until the other cracks. But the fact that I actually found him attractive AND interesting AND he took the initiative? Hot damn.
I replied back telling him that I was glad he emailed me and we were off. The usual back-and-forth of emails began. And it was very much like every other internet connection I’ve made. The emails are almost all the same–canned questions that are neither offensive nor intrusive but can reveal a little to the sender. I was a little disappointed that Bachelor Number 5, while initially gutsy, was turning out to just be average.
Anyway, the emails continued for a week or so, sometimes multiple emails a day talking about music, moving to sports, family, jokes..all kinds of things. Finally, I wrote that I was going on vacation soon, to Vegas. I mentioned something about my super competitive nature and how that is never a good mix when it comes to gambling. Pay dirt!
Bachelor Number 5 responded back almost immediately with excitement–he loves poker, loves competition, and apparently loves talking trash. He immediately challenged to kick my butt at anything, anytime. Are you serious? THIS IS BETTER THAN BUYING ME ROSES AND CHOCOLATES AND CHAMPAGNE. You are speaking my language, honey! This is what I had been waiting for.
With the last message threatening to school me in any game, I was ready to move Bachelor Number 5 to the top of my list. I felt like we had written one another enough, so before I left for Vegas I wrote him with my telephone number and told him I’d be away from email (ehh, not really, but still) and if he wanted, he could text me sometime while I was gone.
I was pleasantly surprised when he texted me rather than replying back with his own number. When given the opportunity, the man takes it….at least when it’s come to writing emails and sending text messages.
The Vegas trip itself proved to be a great conversation subject for us. He plays poker, and I want to learn. He was also going to Tunica for a conference the week that I returned from Vegas, so we talked about gambling a little. I texted him when Ray Romano sat at my poker table.
So the messages continued after my trip, into his trip, and beyond. Texting with Bachelor Number 5 is really great, actually. He asks good questions, gives good answers, and seems to get what is a conversation killer and what isn’t. I won’t lie–having someone text me that they “hope I’m having a great day” really puts a smile on my face. It’s nice to text someone as I snuggle into bed at night, too. And beyond just good conversation, I think we have some things in common. At the very least, I find him interest and want to talk to him. It’s never a chore to text with him.
But you’ll notice that this entry uses the same word repeatedly. Text. Text. Text, text, text. Since I gave him my number, that’s all it’s been. And while normally I wouldn’t ever complain about having someone who does exactly what I’ve been begging for here on this blog, I can’t help but wonder why there hasn’t been a move to take this to another level.
I gave up last week dropping hints like “You went to a movie? I haven’t been in a long time!” and “Oh I love their beer” when he mentioned playing poker at a local brewery. Normal set ups I’ve used on other Bachelors on this very blog just haven’t worked on Bachelor Number 5. He seems impervious to my hints. And my hints were starting to seem desperate to me, the more they went unacknowledged (well, the more I went un-asked really..), so I just gave them up. I really enjoy talking to Bachelor Number 5, but geez. Help a girl out. You met me on a dating site. You find me attractive. This is simple.
It’s puzzling to me that he hasn’t asked to meet me out yet. It’s been nearly three weeks. I couldn’t possibly have drifted into the friend realm already, could I? I’ve come up with plenty of excuses. We were both out-of-town for some time, we work different schedules, but none of it seems very compelling. I mean, if you want to see someone…you make it happen. Before we hit the month mark, right?
The bad part about this whole thing is that I can actually feel the fact that I’m chasing this Bachelor Number 5 is weighing me down in my other communications. The date with Bachelor Number 4 was okay, but I was sort of “meh” about it compared to texting with 5. And I’m just uninspired to check my new matches on Match.com because I’m really just wanting this kid to ask me to go somewhere–ANYWHERE!
Maybe it’s a forbidden fruit thing, maybe it’s just my personality to chase things, or maybe this guy really does have potential. Maybe it’s too early to tell. And maybe it’s too late to transition.