It’s the triumphant (?) return of Q&A Tuesdays (but today on a Wednesday), mostly because someone asked a question that was particularly relevant. Do you have a question for The Blonde? Use the handy-dandy Formspring account to ask questions anonymously. Visit formspring.me/theblondexoxo
Today’s question was asked anonymously. The author writes..
A: Bachelor Number 1, who you may remember as my first online date (ever!) was one that I walked away from saying “He probably won’t call back. If he did, I would give him another shot. He probably won’t call back, though.” And I sort of let that sit around in my head for a few days. And then he texted me.
“What’s your schedule looking like this week?”
I responded back and let him know Thursday worked for me; I waited for Bachelor Number 1 to make plans or confirm for Thursday. And waited, and waited. He called me on Wednesday night a little after 10:30pm to see if I was interested in hanging out. I thanked him for the invitation, politely declined, but said I would be game to see him any time in the future.
I know, I know. You’re saying “What’s your problem now, Blonde? He called and asked you out.” And to this I reply simply–there wasn’t twenty-four hours notice. My mother, she’s a great woman, really, but rarely have I ever taken her advice with men. And maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong in the past (but maybe not, she was a fan of The Friend before I was!), but this is one piece of advice that has stuck with me since adolescence. Time is a valuable thing, maybe one of the most precious things we have. And it is important that friends, family, and most notably, those courting us, value our time. If someone cannot commit to plans with you twenty-four hours before the activity, you should politely decline and let them know that your time is valuable and you can find your own things to do. Of course, there are exceptions that can be made for this–surprises, cancellations, etc. But as a rule of thumb, especially with men, I am a lady that requires you to have plans twenty-four hours in advance, especially in the early stages of dating.
I assumed I wouldn’t hear from dear old Bachelor Number 1 again, and I felt sort of bad for this behavior, but I also felt sort of good that I held my ground for once with something that mattered to me. A couple of weeks passed by, and I heard nothing. Until yesterday…
Bachelor Number 1 sent me another message on OkCupid apologizing for his absence, telling me where he had been (visiting his mother), and asking if I’d like to get together. He also noted that I haven’t logged on in a while and wondered if this meant anything significant.
I haven’t replied to him yet, but I intend to write him, give him an update with what I’ve been doing (he didn’t ask though..) and tell him we could get together for a couple of drinks.
So, no, Bachelor Number 1 didn’t get ‘dropped like a bad habit’. He’s still floating out there.