Q&A Wednesday: Bachelor Number 1’s whereabouts?


It’s the triumphant (?) return of Q&A Tuesdays (but today on a Wednesday), mostly because someone asked a question that was particularly relevant.  Do you have a question for The Blonde?  Use the handy-dandy Formspring account to ask questions anonymously.  Visit formspring.me/theblondexoxo

Today’s question was asked anonymously.  The author writes..

Q: Hey, whatever happened to Bachelor Number 1? You just dropped him like a bad habit.

A:  Bachelor Number 1, who you may remember as my first online date (ever!) was one that I walked away from saying “He probably won’t call back. If he did, I would give him another shot. He probably won’t call back, though.” And I sort of let that sit around in my head for a few days.  And then he texted me.

“What’s your schedule looking like this week?”

I responded back and let him know Thursday worked for me; I waited for Bachelor Number 1 to make plans or confirm for Thursday.  And waited, and waited.  He called me on Wednesday night a little after 10:30pm to see if I was interested in hanging out.  I thanked him for the invitation, politely declined, but said I would be game to see him any time in the future.

I know, I know.  You’re saying “What’s your problem now, Blonde? He called and asked you out.”  And to this I reply simply–there wasn’t twenty-four hours notice.  My mother, she’s a great woman, really, but rarely have I ever taken her advice with men.  And maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong in the past (but maybe not, she was a fan of The Friend before I was!), but this is one piece of advice that has stuck with me since adolescence. Time is a valuable thing, maybe one of the most precious things we have.  And it is important that friends, family, and most notably, those courting us, value our time.  If someone cannot commit to plans with you twenty-four hours before the activity, you should politely decline and let them know that your time is valuable and you can find your own things to do.  Of course, there are exceptions that can be made for this–surprises, cancellations, etc.  But as a rule of thumb, especially with men, I am a lady that requires you to have plans twenty-four hours in advance, especially in the early stages of dating.

I assumed I wouldn’t hear from dear old Bachelor Number 1 again, and I felt sort of bad for this behavior, but I also felt sort of good that I held my ground for once with something that mattered to me.  A couple of weeks passed by, and I heard nothing.  Until yesterday…

Bachelor Number 1 sent me another message on OkCupid apologizing for his absence, telling me where he had been (visiting his mother), and asking if I’d like to get together.  He also noted that I haven’t logged on in a while and wondered if this meant anything significant.

I haven’t replied to him yet, but I intend to write him, give him an update with what I’ve been doing (he didn’t ask though..) and tell him we could get together for a couple of drinks.

So, no, Bachelor Number 1 didn’t get ‘dropped like a bad habit’.  He’s still floating out there.

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3 thoughts on “Q&A Wednesday: Bachelor Number 1’s whereabouts?

  1. It seems like I have an awful great number of ideas for “how a gentleman should act” that have worked reall well for me (as in still, and irrecvocably it seems, single, but…)

    I’d argue that it’s a tinge ungentlemanly for Bachelor No. 1 to suddenly appear at 10:30 PM* and quite ungentelmanly for him to even consider making an invititation with less than 24 hours notice, absent extenuating circumstances (as in “Hey, I just won these tickets for the concert tonight”)

    * Though I have to admit that I’ve struggled with the idea of “appropriate time to call”; generally for weeknights I try for after 6 or before 9 but that seems like it might be too narrow of a window. Your thoughts?

    1. I am glad someone is on my side here, and even more glad that it’s a male. It’s comforting to know that there are men out there who feel strongly about my 24 hour rule.

      As for appropriate times to call, I think you’re right on the money. Most people work standard 8-5 schedules, so 6 is good. As for me, I work a compressed 4 day week of 7am-6pm. And after work if I’m not going out I go directly to the gym. But, I make sure to tell gentleman suitors this information, the best time to reach me is from 7pm-9pm unless it’s the weekend. If you’re looking for a long conversation, call earlier. If you’re wanting a short “hey, nice to meet you, let’s make plans” try the 8:30 time slot and dip out at 9pm

      xoxo The Blonde

  2. Pingback: Mom Knows Best? «

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