What Do You Suggest I Do?


Happy Friday, readers.  Today I want to take some time out from the story-telling and the Match.com-ing to ask you what you’re thinking.  I know that a lot of you out there are Match subscribers, and I know a lot of you have been on there much, much longer than I have.  And I know many of you have serious opinions on dating.

I feel like my Matching is going slowly, and not quite steadily.  I’m waffling, because I don’t know exactly what I should be doing on Match.  Is it my job to send emails, to wink, to visit profiles?  Or, like real life, is it more proper to let a man approach me?  I had trouble filling out my profile and am wondering if I should go back and make some edits, especially in terms of “what I’m looking for”.

So I’m asking you–what do you wish you had known in the beginning?  What tips would you share with me?  Any warnings?  Do you see something that I am doing wrong?  Do you just want to suggest something at all to me with regards to my pursuit of online dating? This is your chance to play the part of the blind–those who (think they) have answers that I don’t–and lead this Blonde in the world of dating.  Feel free to comment, or if you’d rather, email (theblindleadingtheblonde@gmail.com) and let me know what you think I’m doing right or wrong or just complain about my over-all Match.com process.  Maybe this will lead to a few posts if I end up taking your advice.

Here I am, internet!  Do with me what you will!

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9 thoughts on “What Do You Suggest I Do?

  1. I maintain a quote from my favorite basketball coach.

    “Nothing works, if you don’t.”- Jim Larranaga

    You get what you put out, right?

  2. I’m certainly no expert (and seem to attract only idiots), but I usually (and by usually, I mean ‘when i feel like it’) take a more proactive approach on Match. I do run searches, I do send winks (although I think they’re lame) and I do send e-mails. The worse that can happen is that they don’t answer. Eh, their loss. Some guys appreciate being contacted, some don’t. I think it’s worth taking a chance and making the 1st move to show some interest. It’s a heck of a lot easier to try online than in real life.

    I think by not running your own searches and not contacting guys 1st, you may be missing out on some (few and far between) good ones. 😉

    And The Brunette is right ‘you can’t win if you don’t play’ 🙂

    1. I agree, I think I’d be missing out on a few good ones if I didn’t make an effort. Also, it’s sort of passive to just sit on there, isn’t it?

      Thanks for writing

      xoxo The Blonde

  3. Why not treat it like an experiment? For two weeks (the experiment has to be long enough to be valid) try nothing but winking at people. For the next two weeks, try sending guys short funny messages, the next two weeks, send longer messages.

    You can see what works and then report back to us 😛

  4. First I have to say I really wish (more) women would make the first move; this is the 21st century — the genders are mostly equal at this point, if you see someone interested reach out.

    For me it really depends on the proflile more than anything.

    If I’m really interested or if the profile gives me enough information to form a legitimate question I’ll put together a I like your profile/it seems like we both enjoy X and ask a question or two. I learned early on that if I’m not careful I can turn that first email into more of an interrogation, so I avoid asking more than 2 questions in an email. I’d say that 75% of the emails I send the women doesn’t even have the courtesy to hit the “Not Interested” button, let alone actually sending a reply.

    If I’m moderately interested or if there’s not enough in the profile for me to form a question that doesn’t sound creepy/stalkerish, I’ll wink. 95% of winks go unanswered, about 2% get the “Not interested” auto email, 2% result in a return wink, and 1% result in her sending the email.

    That 1% is actually my goal because it usually gives enough to strike up a conversation; the 2% that return the wink takes a bit more work — because I now wind up inspecting the profile with a fine-tooth comb to come up with an intelligent-sounding question but is at least a clue that it’s worth the effort (and actually by best female friend–who shares a lot of common interests–came through the 2% wink/wink/email approach)

    Lincoln

    1. I didn’t realize there was a ‘no thanks’ button until you pointed it out to me here. Match.com sure does hide that little booger. What does the ‘no thanks’ button do, exactly? Maybe I can craft a better response than they do..

      I wish more of the people who’ve contacted me on Match.com asked questions in their email. I get a lot of “great smiles” and “tell me about yourself” but I’d like something to answer rather than having to give someone an elevator pitch. But maybe I need a Match.com pitch..

      xoxo The Blonde

      1. It just sends a canned “So and so appreciates you taking the time to [wink/write] but doesn’t think you’re a good match…but don’t worry there are hundreds of others to pick from so try again”-type email.

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