What Are You Looking For? Making a Match.com Profile Part Two


In my previous Match.com post, I told you about the process of filling out the profile and answering basic questions about myself.  If you trudge through that post, thanks.  If you didn’t, maybe this one will interest you more.  This post is all about the “About My Date” half of the process..essentially I’m going to tell Match.com what I am looking for so I can see potential bachelors that interest me.

The first page is all about the basics again, first the appearance basics.  The first question is “How tall should he be?”  And again I am stumped.  To me, height isn’t a real deal breaker for me.  The Boyfriend was taller than me; we never discussed it.  The Friend was about 3 inches shorter than me; it was a constant issue (for him).  Still, I don’t care that much so I just say anywhere from 5 feet tall to 8 feet tall will do for me.

The next questions, eye color and hair color, offer a variety of options but ultimately I opted for “no preference”.  Again, a must have/can’t stand, for me at least, doesn’t involve hair or eye color.  If you’re concerned, though, Match.com definitely gives you the option to weed out any eye color to which you might have an aversion.

On the same page, you’ll select your body type preferences.  You can specify what you’re looking for in a partner, be it athletic and toned or ‘stocky’ or ‘heavy set’ or any number of words in between.  Again, I selected no preference.  If I find that I get more than my share of “heavyset” then I’ll reconsider.  Interestingly enough, going back to my choice of ‘curvy’, I find that the wording on body type is really ery subjective.  I find that the distinction between a few extra pounds and heavyset is really dependent upon personal opinion and self-image.  For instance, to some, I think curvy implies overweight on a woman, while I thought it really implied that I was at a healthy weight but still have curves–breasts and hips.  I’m beginning to think that’s not what curvy implies to most men.  And to me, stocky and heavyset aren’t really that different for me.  It’s all subjective, I think.  Anyway, no preference.  We’ll see what happens.

The next page provides a spot for you to specify the ethnicity of potential matches.  You can hand-pick the ethnicity or ethnicities you’re searching for and eliminate what you simply can’t or won’t date.  Are you surprised to hear I have no preference here?  I have noticed in my browsing that many men here in the south have put down literally every ethnicity except for African-American.  Really?  Please.

Religious affiliation.  Again I select no preference.  I’m willing to hear anyone out on their religious views . I could definitely see where this is handy for others, though.  Imagine if you’re really set on marrying someone in your own religion…this eliminates anyone who simply won’t do and makes it easier for you to wade through the remainders.

On the Education Level selector on the same page, I did get snotty.  And I feel so guilty for it.  I asked to only see individuals with Bachelors degrees and higher.  I am fairly self-conscious that I only have a B.A., but I’d at least like someone who’s in a similar position in life. Bachelors degree and higher for The Blonde.  We’ll see how that goes.I am a little curious how this works, though, because after you specify the education level for potential matches the question follows if it’s a “Must have” or a “nice to hae”.  So I said “nice to have”, we’ll see what matches come through.  Anyone sure how this works?

 

The next page pairs salary range and job–you can specify what job market you’d like to date in and how much money they should make at a minimum.  I laughed this stuff off.  People really specify that they’d only like to date arists and engineers?

It seems odd to me that on the same page, smoking preferences appear.  After job and salary?  Still, you can decide what you’re willing to tolerate in terms of smoking habits.  For me, it’s a “No way” situation and that’s a must have.  I don’t want to date a smoker.

Page two of the lifestyle section asks about alcohol consumption.  Of course, I like a good drink.  I like happy hour, I like being crunk, basically.  But I think it’s important to make it clear that I socially drink, rather than “moderately” drink.  So that’s what I am looking for in a match, a social drinker.  I indicate that it is nice to have, rather than a “must have” because I could probably be my own judge of what is enough vs. too much.  I am not sure how dating someone who never drinks would work, but I’d be willing to give it a try.  I think.

Despite my better judgement I indicated no preference in marital status.  Part of me wanted to put down “never married” as a must have, but I wonder how realistic it is to refuse to date someone who may have mistakenly married at a young age.  Everyone deserves a second chance.  I did, however, indicated that my preference would be that they don’t have children from a previous relationship.  Despite my absolute adoration for children, I’m unsure how I’d function as a stepmother in my mid-twenties.  It’s a nice have, not a must have.

The final question the lifestyle section asks about my prospective matches’ feelings toward children.  It’s a must have for me–I want to date someone who definitely wants children or at least wants them someday.  I am not interested in having children in the immediate future, however, once I am married I definitely want children.  I definitely realize this is one of my personal nonnegotiable, and I’m okay with that.  I don’t want someone who ‘isn’t sure’ if they want children or who definitely doesn’t want children.  In a way, it’s comforting to at least know I have a non-negotiable since I often worry that I don’t know what I want.  But in another way, I worry that in my mid twenties this is a lot to ask of someone and a lot to put on an online dating profile.  Still, it’s how I feel.  And I can’t deny it.  And beyond my own children, I definitely want someone who likes children as I spend a lot of time with friends and coworkers who have great children.  I don’t want someone annoyed by them!

That’s all the questions for my matches.  The final page asks me to write an open-ended summary of myself and what I am looking for.  There is no prompt, just a big empty box waiting for me to fill it.  I began mine with my Jeopardy line.  I definitely want to be on Jeopardy one day, but worry that the categories would be all poetry. Beyond that, it’s a struggle to write the rest of my profile.  I feel like I edit it daily. For $40 an expert from Match.com will write my profile for me; I feel that’s cheating.

My headline simply reads “Act Now! Limited Time Offer.”  I thought it was cute, given the fact that I am on Match on a free trial thanks to the fabulous Colin.

What do I think so far?  I think it’s interesting that the experts seem to think that by answering these basic questions and writing a few paragraphs about myself, I’ll find a connection.  It seems almost like a shot in the dark, but I am willing to trust the process.  Still, 5 or 6 quetions and an open-ended “tell me about yourself?” Maybe Match.com emphasizes reading profiles more than just looking at a graph of ways you compare to someone.  We’ll see.

My next Match.com update will probably be a detail about how I spend my time on Match.  Get excited.

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2 thoughts on “What Are You Looking For? Making a Match.com Profile Part Two

  1. Speaking as someone who has been on Match far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far,…well, you get the idea…too long it’s insteresting to read your take on the “First Time”, because it sounds a lot like me.

    Things I’ve learned (from the guy’s perspective)

    – I didn’t think height mattered. At 6’0″ For a long time my range was 3’0″ to 8’0″. Then I went on a date with someone who was 5’0″ (she claimed, I’m not entirely convinced she wan’t stretching it an inch or two) and I was really uncomfortable talking down to her all night. [I’m the type of person who will get down on a knee to talk to someone who’s sitting down rather than just stare down at them]. I’m turned on by women taller than I am–perhaps due to spending 4 years managing a Girl’s voleyball team in HS–but most taller women I know perfer the guy to be taller than they are. New range – 5’3″ to 8’0″.

    Body type — I’m a literal toothpick at 6′ and 130#. Though I’m most attracted to women on the “slender”/”Athletic and toned” side, you’re right, Match’s categorizations are really ambigious. Historically I’ve tended to think think of “Curvy” as being in the same neighborhood as “A Few Extra Pounds”, but I’m beginning not to use that criteria at all, instead referring to photos (You do have a full body shot, right? If you only have closely cropped chin-to-forehead pictures it makes it look like you’re hiding something)… But as you said “Curvy” and even “About Average” are so subjective.

    – Marital status: I oscillate on this one. I don’t think I could do “Currently Separated”, and someone my age who’s alreday been married and divorced is probably a bit rash for my tastes. But I usually think being with someone a bit less calculated than I am would be a good thing. Opposites attract, right?

    – Occupation/Income: I’ve always left income “No Preference” (As long as you enjoy what you’re doing, right?) and Occupation is usually the same way but I still seem pulled to the “Artistic/Creative/Performance” group because typically women in this category are more likely to be interested in attending theater/museum/dance/orchestra/etc. — where I spend most of my spare time (I do live in Cleveland, where 90% of the women in this town would are more at home with sporting events.).

    All that said, remember Match.com really doesn’ t keep you from seeing people who don’t match your checklist, and at least IMHO and based on my experience, too many “No Preferences” make it look like you have no idea who/what you’re looking for — and it also makes it more difficult for the guy at the other end to judge compatiblity, though this comment is far too long for me to elaborate on that point this morning 🙂

    Why is it that I always seem to leave such longwinded comments on your posts?

    1. Oh my! Someone actually read The Most Boring Post I Have Ever Written. Thanks.

      To address some of what you’ve said: I do have full body shots on there. And I like your point about maybe looking like I have no idea what I’m looking for. Maybe I don’t know what I am looking for. I am on the fence about the whole marriage at my age thing. I’m definitely not looking for someone ‘currently separated’, but like I said, young people make mistakes. Maybe working with college students really highlights in my mind the fact that young adult still have relatively horrid ideas at times. 🙂

      It cracks me up that you always have so much to say about what I write. I really appreciate it. It always sparks thought for me.

      xoxo The Blonde.

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