I am sort of glad I never came up with a nickname for the OkCupid guy that I was messaging back and forth with last week. Because I don’t think he’ll be appearing in this blog very much. At all. Ever again. Unless it’s to mention “that ass from OKCupid”.
Despite my worries that I had gotten overly competitive or too eager in previous messages, the dude DID write me back. And it simply said “I’d love to talk with you sometime, look over my profile and see if you like it”.
So I decided to look over his profile because, honestly, who says that unless there is something there that needs to be said but you don’t want to come out and say it. I don’t see any horrible scars or lacerations in the picture…no mention of children already conceived.
Upon close inspection of this dude’s OKCupid profile…a tiny sentence caught my eye. And I read it. And I read it again. And I read it one more time to be absolutely certain it said what I thought it did. I’m currently in a relationship, but looking for female friends that just get me you know? Who knows. Take the plunge, we could have fun!
Well isn’t that just a cute way to tell me “I have a girlfriend, I want to look at my options, and I’m willing to take it further if the right opportunity hits me.”
Thanks but no thanks, dude. First off, the friends thing is way bogus. What are we going to do? Hang out, just the three of us? Oh hi, I met your boyfriend on OKCupid. Don’t worry, we’re just friends! Maybe she’s down with it, but I somehow doubt it. And if she is down with it, I’m not. So, there. And second off, I don’t need any more male friends with girlfriends. That is precisely why I am on OKCupid to begin with–all the males I know are either taken, gay, or quite frankly, I’ve already dated them.
For about two seconds I went all “oh, woe is me” on my friend. You know, why does this always happen to me? It’s like I have a sign on my forehead or a paragraph on my profile that says ‘Hey, if you’ve got a girlfriend already, then bring it! Times ten!”
I’m over that question, though. I’m just going to chalk it up to “I’m so awesome” or “My milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard” or something else that sorta sounds like that and basically means I’m just a cool girl who everybody, regardless of relationship status, wants to meet.
So, no-go with the bright spot I found on OKCupid. But actually, this isn’t any of my doing with the banter messages. They were, as I suspected, cute and flirtatious and all around wonderful. In fact, I’m the one who has decided to end this brief but intoxicating love-affair because, well, it’d be an affair.
Back to the drawing board. This is sort of fun!