The world of OKCupid is rough. It’s as if I have writing skills out the ass but they translate poorly to online flirtation. Also, I reserve the right to compliment my own skills by saying “out the ass” when referring to writing. Whatever.
On Thursday this relatively attractive (read: actually pretty hot upon second inspection today) guy sent me a message that simply said
“C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS”
No, he’s not obsessed with felines, at least not that I know of. I knew immediately that he was referring to the University of Kentucky and figured it was basketball, since they’re not exactly known for football, especially in this area. Well, well, well. A sports fan, a good-looking guy, and his profile doesn’t seem creeper-status as far as I can tell? Color me curious. Taking a chance, I wrote back and decided to go with a flirtatious jab.
“Part of me wanted to write you and just point out that it’s 26 years since you’ve actually managed a win over the Vols…but…it’s basketball season. And you sort of own that. So I’ll just keep my mouth shut, okay? 🙂 Hope to hear from you soon, (me)”
Yes, it’s sort of competitive..but if you knew the real Blonde, you’d know that this is basically who I am. Let’s see if he can roll with it, shall we?
Not ten seconds later he writes:
I knew you’d want to write that, and you didn’t fail to disappoint me! I see you’re with the basketball coach in that picture…tell me, were you at his house for the barbecue when it was taken? (he is referencing a major recruiting violation that got the coach suspended for 8 games)
He writes back almost instantly! And it’s even MORE perfect than the previous message? Could it be true? An SEC fan who’s clever and attractive and messaging me? Let’s run with this. (This is the part where my brain should switch over and say ‘Hey Blonde! Turn on the girl mode!’ but, of course…it doesn’t.)
Funny you should ask, (name), because I was, in fact, recruiting with him when that picture was taken. And we were discussing the fact that Kentucky actually recruited someone in such a manner that they’re permanently ineligible. That seems like a long time, doesn’t it? 😉 (me) No, just kidding! I was actually just thrilled he came into my office once! Don’t act like you aren’t impressed (I was TRYING to channel Anchorman here..) Hope your Friday is going swimmingly, (ME)
Before you even begin to lecture me on the epic fail that was that message, I get it. Note to self: drop the flirtation and ask a real question if you’re messaging this many times AND maybe not seem so nerdy about the subject at hand. I know, I know.
Needless to say, the gentleman at hand wrote back and said “I was just kidding, I hope you know! Hope to talk to you again later. I hope your day goes well too!”
Great, he thinks I’m an asshole. And he didn’t ask any questions…I think I’ve sorta overshot the runway on this one.
I wrote back
“I was kidding as well, sometimes you have to remind me to back off the smack talk a little. Yikes! I hope we talk again too, it’s crazy…maybe we could even try talking about things not related to sports? I’ve heard rumor that these subjects exist, but…I dunno! All the best, (me)
Lesson learned. Sigh. *facepalm*