I Have Skills But No Finesse


The world of OKCupid is rough.  It’s as if I have writing skills out the ass but they translate poorly to online flirtation.  Also, I reserve the right to compliment my own skills by saying “out the ass” when referring to writing.  Whatever.

On Thursday this relatively attractive (read:  actually pretty hot upon second inspection today) guy sent me a message that simply said

“C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS”

No, he’s not obsessed with felines, at least not that I know of.  I knew immediately that he was referring to the University of Kentucky and figured it was basketball, since they’re not exactly known for football, especially in this area. Well, well, well.  A sports fan, a good-looking guy, and his profile doesn’t seem creeper-status as far as I can tell?  Color me curious. Taking a chance, I wrote back and decided to go with a flirtatious jab.

“Part of me wanted to write you and just point out that it’s 26 years since you’ve actually managed a win over the Vols…but…it’s basketball season.  And you sort of own that.  So I’ll just keep my mouth shut, okay? 🙂  Hope to hear from you soon,  (me)”

Yes, it’s sort of competitive..but if you knew the real Blonde, you’d know that this is basically who I am.  Let’s see if he can roll with it, shall we?

Not ten seconds later he writes:

I knew you’d want to write that, and you didn’t fail to disappoint me! I see you’re with the basketball coach in that picture…tell me, were you at his house for the barbecue when it was taken? (he is referencing a major recruiting violation that got the coach suspended for 8 games)

He writes back almost instantly! And it’s even MORE perfect than the previous message?  Could it be true?  An SEC fan who’s clever and attractive and messaging me?  Let’s run with this.  (This is the part where my brain should switch over and say ‘Hey Blonde! Turn on the girl mode!’ but, of course…it doesn’t.)

Funny you should ask, (name), because I was, in fact, recruiting with him when that picture was taken.  And we were discussing the fact that Kentucky actually recruited someone in such a manner that they’re permanently ineligible.  That seems like a long time, doesn’t it? 😉 (me) No, just kidding! I was actually just thrilled he came into my office once! Don’t act like you aren’t impressed (I was TRYING to channel Anchorman here..) Hope your Friday is going swimmingly, (ME)

Before you even begin to lecture me on the epic fail that was that message, I get it.  Note to self:  drop the flirtation and ask a real question if you’re messaging this many times AND maybe not seem so nerdy about the subject at hand.  I know, I know.

Needless to say, the gentleman at hand wrote back and said “I was just kidding, I hope you know!  Hope to talk to you again later. I hope your day goes well too!”

Great, he thinks I’m an asshole.  And he didn’t ask any questions…I think I’ve sorta overshot the runway on this one.

I wrote back

“I was kidding as well, sometimes you have to remind me to back off the smack talk a little.  Yikes!  I hope we talk again too, it’s crazy…maybe we could even try talking about things not related to sports?  I’ve heard rumor that these subjects exist, but…I dunno!  All the best, (me)

Lesson learned.  Sigh.  *facepalm*

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7 thoughts on “I Have Skills But No Finesse

  1. If it makes you feel any better from the guy’s side I’m perpetually erring on the side of caution–not wanting to offend or leave room for misinterpertaion (yes, I know, that’s half of the fun)

    One woman I came across had a remark in her profile dissing Cleveland’s cultural scene (implying that it was small, and therefore making it easy to guess where she worked). Cleveland’s cultural scene is gigantic–one of the things I love about the city. I sent her one of the most borderline rude emails I’ve ever sent, not expecting a response. We didn’t seem to have much in common.

    To my suprise she responded, we exchanged a few more emails. I turns out we actually have a lot in common and eventually agreed to meet — but then her “best guy friend from high school” re-entered the picture and we never met for a date — we have bumped into each other casually a few times [and do I have regrets; she’s an awesome person in every way]

    So I guess what I’m saying is the trite “just be yourself”, don’t over think things and you will, eventually, find someone who gets you. Anything else is just exhausting.

    1. Excellent perspective, Lincoln! I appreciate you sharing with me.
      And this leads me to wonder…are women perpetually attracted to that ‘mean’ streak in men? 🙂

      xoxo The Blonde.

  2. I’m starting to think that OkCupid messages, and online dating messages in general, are kind of an exercise in epic fails. Whether it’s the initial contact or a facepalm response, there always seems to be some kind of weird hiccup. But who knows, maybe there’s someone out there for each of us who will enjoy our epic fails.

  3. So a girl I work with just signed up to a dating site and named her profile “Must Like Dogs”. Serioulsy, when she told me I had to literally kick myself not to die laughing. Who does that? I know it’s all about the dog who she treats better than any man she’s ever had. But really?

    Hope the guy gets back in touch! x

  4. I’ve got my fingers crossed that you did, indeed, hear back from him. Aside from being a hottie, the fact that he was able to string several words together and show some wit is a (sad) rarity. At least in AZ 😉

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