Day 1.

Medicine Drug Pills on Plate
If I were addicted to pills, at least there'd be a tv show for me.

If yesterday was day 84….today is day 1.

It wasn’t by plan, you know.  I didn’t do it on purpose.  In fact I had nothing to do with it.  When he didn’t respond to my email I went on about my business until I got a call from him.

And he was in town.  Two hours of driving. Surprise.

So today’s day 1.

This is it.  I admit it.  All my friends win.  Brunette, coworker, even The Boyfriend.  You’re right…I am powerless over The Friend.  It affects my ability to think clearly and make rational decisions.  In the scheme of things, 84 days isn’t enough to make a new life.

But I don’t know what to do.  It’s like I can’t help myself sometimes.  I’ve done the usual things.  We aren’t Facebook friends, I threw all our pictures away.  I am sure that this relationship can never work out.  But I am also sure that I’m painfully unable to complete the process and have made several backslides in the past year that have been detrimental to the entire purpose of this blog–moving on and finding love.

So here I am, at the mercy of the internet.  I need books, tapes, telephone numbers of your best psychotherapy groups, whatever you think will help me.  At this point, I’m ready to 12 step my way back to reality.

I am committed to figuring this thing out once and for all.  Bring it on.  I need you guys.


4 thoughts on “Day 1.

  1. I want to comment on this post but I’m struggling to come up with useful advice. Something like “order him never to contact you again in any way” doesn’t seem advanced enough. Instead I’ll wish you luck in getting out of limbo with him – whether that’s by stopping things completely, or conversely by pushing for more with him just to check once and for all whether anything could come from that. It sounds no fun being stuck in between those two extremes.

    1. Thanks for commenting. Maybe that’s what I was looking for, just someone to read it and get it?

      I think I’m going to really focus on moving past this. Because it’s really not going to work, we tried all that. And it’s just dysfunction junction. 🙂

      Thanks for reading. I mean that sincerely, xoxo The Blonde

  2. I feel like if I started a version of AA that involved people, I’d be a millionaire. Or I’d at least have tons of karma.

    No matter what anyone says, certain people in your life are as addictive as any drug; you can relapse, and sometimes it takes a support group to see you through it.

    Let your group defriend the ‘issue’ on facebook (if you can’t make yourself do it), delete the contact from your smartphone, etc. You’ll be better off for it.

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