I have come to some conclusions in the past week or so as I browse endless profiles on OkCupid. Most of these conclusions I make in about twenty seconds. And it’s all based on profile pictures.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking ‘Even The Blonde is human! She judges appearance too!’ But friends, my judgment isn’t based on what you look like at all. I have discovered three things in profile pictures that are completely unrelated to your face that, if they are there, I will immediately judge you as unattractive.
1) Your children in your profile picture. I love children, don’t get me wrong. In fact, when I babysit, my ovaries practically ache with want. Sincerely. But when I see your children in OkCupid profile pictures, I am disgusted. First off, why on earth would you want your photos of your children on a dating site? Shouldn’t there be some boundaries for your children with regards to privacy? And furthermore, when I see you posed there with your ‘kids’ (as you are so apt to call them) I feel like you are trying to manipulate me (which is bad) by using your children (which is worse). Gross. I love children, and therefore, don’t want to see yours on a dating site!
2) Shirtless pictures–I have found so many profile pictures on OkCupid of shirtless men staring into bathroom mirrors with their cellphones stretched behind their heads (to capture the entire body! duh!). I’ve seen so many, in fact, that I’ve actually added to my profile “You should contact me if… you have a shirt on in your profile picture” because apparently it’s that rare. Why? You are not The Situation and you should probably be proud of that. Your shirtless picture makes me judge you. Sorry. I just think you’re dumb.
3) Pictures that clearly showcase someone else that you’ve not-so-carefully-cut-out First off, do you realize that I can still see someone’s arm? Is it a girl’s arm? Most likely. Second, is this the only digital picture you have of yourself? Find a friend and take a picture alone. Preferably not with your kids and not with your shirt off. And don’t send me a message because if you have to find a friend with a digital camera, I’m pretty much not going to have a real interest in you.
I’m sorry, I’m a judgmental Blonde. But it’s not for the typical reasons. I just think that a picture says 1,000 words. But some pictures only say one word: Loser.
xoxo The Blonde.