A blah Blonde


I’m not one to fall easily–or at all–for individuals.  I hae always had to ‘warm up’ to people, and I’d consider myself slower than most people when it comes to the warm-up-process.

But this weekend I went against my normal stand-off attitude and now I’m feeling down. I don’t know what came over me.  Maybe I was having my own “Monster’s Ball” moment…(You know, the Hallie Berry scene?) or maybe I genuinely did just find myself with a person that was that intriguing.

A super-close friend of my aunt’s family spent a lot of time with us this weekend.  I was probably attracted to him before I met him; people spent years telling me how awesome this person..let’s call him..Gator..is.  Smart, hilarious, great. 

But then I finally met Gator.  And he was all of those things and more.  He was BFF with the person I wrote about earlier who passed away.  So we spent a lot of time together.  Eating talking, telling stories.  Drinking beer.  And getting to know one another.  He harassed me over wearing orange.  I told him to get out  the house wearing his gator blue (hence the name).  And from what very little I got to know about him, he’s as awesome as everyone told me.

And apparently, after a while he started digging him some Blonde, too.  Because things started turning toward the “I know you want me” department.  Nothing ever happened, but it was nice flirting and knowing I can still pull it. 

Unfortunately, we live 500 miles a part, and Gator has a sort-of-girlfriend. 

I told my friend I feel ‘lovelorn’.  I feel unfulfilled in a way.  I hate flirting and not having some pay off.  I hate getting to know someone and having them taken away.

I think this feeling is why I am so slow to warm to a new person.  Can you imagine feeling this way every time you met a new person? I can’t.  I couldn’t function if I did.

I am Facebook friends with Gator, maybe we can talk.  But for now I am moping about, wishing I had followed my rules and not gotten attached.

Bah..

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2 thoughts on “A blah Blonde

  1. The only “moment” I remember from Monsters Ball is the gross one. Maybe I’m a pervert.

    And I say, there is nothing wrong with a crush! Who knows what the future holds. This semi-girlfriend is most likely NOT the one, and who knows what the future holds. Flirting is good for the self esteem and now you have a reason to smile when you sign on to Facebook!

    xoxo
    -Bianca

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