A Reflective New Year’s Eve

I realize, as I sit here about to begin my celebration to ring in 2011, that the past ten years have been on of the heaviest of my life.

New Year’s Eve 2000 was spent with my family, as I was only…in my early teens..and starting high school.  I look back, and little blondie was so ill prepare for the next ten years to pass.  So many life changing events have happened in the past 10 years that I worry the next ten have no chance to compare.

In ten years I have:

*Gotten a drivers license (despite much protest).  I didn’t want to drive, and avoided it as much as possible, but eventually I learned.  And now, ten years later, I drive like it’s nothing.

*I had my first kiss, first date, first boyfriend.  Ahh, it was probably a simpler time before all that mess, too, but in the past ten years  I have fallen in love and have changed so much.  At the beginning of the decade, I predicted that I’d never have a boyfriend, much less have one that I eventually lived with.

*I happily graduated high school

*I reluctantly graduated from college and moved on to ‘the real world’

* I moved in (and out) to my boyfriend’s apartment.  I went from “will I ever be noticed?” to a long-term, eight year relationship.

*Not only did I have sex for the first time in this decade, I had my first affair.  A serious affair.  An affair that changed the course of my life.

*I also lost.  Lost my aunt, lost 100 pounds.  I learned that losing isn’t painful forever, just at first.  I miss my aunt.  I don’t miss my 100 pounds.

I guess what overwhelms me about the past ten years is that I couldn’t have predicted any of these things at the beginning of the decade.  And then as things started to happen, I couldn’t have even predicted their endings.  Eight years is 4/5 of a decade, nearly the entire thing…and the one thing that defined this decade?  It’s gone.

I know, I know.  It’s a good thing.  A really good thing, most days.  But reflecting on the amount of growing I did in this decade makes me question whether I have another 10 years like that inside of me.  Will this decade be as life shattering, self-defining? It’s overwhelming.

But it’s also exciting to know that as I sit here, in ten years time, probably nothing will be the same.  Some good things some bad things.  But it’s going to be different.  And I’m okay with that.

Tonight I plan to have some fun. I am not sorry to see 2010 go, as I have been of other years in the past..in fact, in 2008 I slept through the new year and when someone called to me that it was 2009 all I said was “FINALLY.” and went back to sleep.  But this year, I’m excited for 2011, but will miss 2010.

Be safe everyone.  Good luck in these next ten years.  Nothing will ever be the way it is today!


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