11 Things I Don’t Need So I Can Breathe


December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life

Ugh.  I am no good with clutter.  I collect junk, hold on to it, for reasons unknown.  I watch a lot of Hoarders and Buried Alive tv shows, so it’s nothing like that at all..it’s just that I do have clutter that I am reluctant to get rid of.  And I’m just starting to recognize that it’s not just tangible junk that I keep, it’s the intangibles up here in my (beautiful, blonde) head.  And it’s probably impacting my dating life and quest for dating in a negative way when I keep tossing these things around. So, I’m going to try my best to come up with 11 things.  I’m making no promises, though.

1.  The Boyfriend and The Friend Stories–I flat-out just need to make it a resolution to stop saying their names in 2011 unless it’s relevant blog material.  My personal life is peppered with stories about The Boyfriend and The Friend. For a while, I was okay with that because they were a part of my life and part of my experience and it’s what I had to share.  But by now, surely I’ve done and seen a lot more and can bring more to the table than what happened way back when–even though the stories I tell are always humorous and never serious! I need less of that in my life in general to make my dating life better. This is all part of letting go and moving on and getting something new!

2. Guilt–guilt over what happened, what I did, and what people think of me.  I sometimes still get hung up on the idea that there are probably 3 people out there that thing I am just the worst person ever. So what? If I could turn back time (and suddenly turn into Cher!) I wouldn’t change a thing.  Who I am is who I want to be.  So, when I think of the guilt or the other person, I want to send them love and light and wish them the best and then drop it.

3. Feeling behind–I’m tired of feeling like I am lightyears behind my friends.  It’s easy to stalk Facebook sometimes and get the sense that I’m doing nothing because I’m not doing exactly what others I know are doing.  It’s hard to look at engagement updates, wedding photos, and birth announcements and not feel like I am missing out on something.  But it’s time for me to quit comparing my personal life to other’s and start living in the moment. And all the rest of that will come out in the wash.

4.  Doubt–My dating life needs an injection of faith, and with that, an elimination of doubt.  I hope to quit doubting that I am enough for someone, that I can meet someone, that I am a wonderful catch.  I’m good enough, I’m blonde enough, and gosh-darn-it..PEOPLE LIKE ME! There is a lid for every pot, including this blonde.

5.  Quitting–I keep starting these books and stopping halfway through.  I need to read the books about dating I bought and work through them.  I also need to put more effort in to my online dating profiles and actually contact some people I am interested in.  I want to eliminate the quitting in my dating life!

6.  Boy-clutter–While we’re on the subject of clutter, I want to eliminate the boys I keep around just ‘just in case’.  You know, I shouldn’t be Facebook friends with Facebook Boy, and I shouldn’t let Married Guy tweet me so much.  And The Friend.  I’ve got to stop responding to his texts (even if I am not initiating that contact!).  And then there’s Highschool Friend.  He’s got to go too.  They’re just clutter, leaving little room for new growth.  A wise person once said that if you create a vacuum, the universe will fill it.  If you want more money, clean out your wallet.  If you want new clothes, clean out your closet.  I’d like to think this same principle applies to boys.  If you want more dates, clean out your text message inbox.

7.  Setting my sights so low–I’ve got to get rid of this idea in my head that some crappy person on OKCupid is the only person on OKCupid that will ever message me.  And what I’ve had in the past isn’t exactly something I’d qualify as great…so surely that’s not the best I can do either.  I am worth a lot, and it’s time I start acting like it. If I see a hot guy, I need to talk.  I’m worth it. What’s the worst that can happen?

8.  Compromised Values–I’ve got to eliminate the stretching of values I’ve done in the past.  Recently I’ve noticed not a lot of men I know have good values..treating women the right way, having sex outside of relationships etc.  I really, really don’t like those characteristics.  But I’ve done it in the past.  I want to be a better person…no more compromising values!

Now, clearly I’ve been working on this post since December 11.  It’s now the 17th.  I’m afraid I’ll never get this posted if I try to think of 3 more things before I post it.  So, yes, you’re getting an incomplete list.  But I promise to update this list when I think of three more things.


4 thoughts on “11 Things I Don’t Need So I Can Breathe

  1. The most rewarding feeling I have in life right now is the success in ridding my life of clutter. Those small victories make me feel great. It’s the closest thing to magic that you can do for yourself. I hope that you follow through with it and accomplish your goal. Sometimes these small things feel like boulders on our shoulders. I totally understand. Good luck with your list.

  2. I’ve just started reading your blog – your list is interesting and I’m always eager to read dating stories, so I plan to try to catch up with what I’ve missed!

  3. I hoard clothes. And unfortunately, with the coming of 2011, I should skip The Ex stories too…but it sort of makes us who we are and how we view things? I mean, a lot of situations revert us back to those times and makes us realize why we feel the way we do today. Right? Haha, I’m justifying it that way…

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