Okay, Cupid.


Cupid  Awake ~ Antique Lithograph
The Cupid Shuffle

Well, at the urging of two friends I decided to check out some online dating sites.  The first one I’ve signed up for and actually put effort into posting a profile on is OkCupid.  I chose OkCupid (OC) for 2 reasons:  a) The Boyfriend met his current girlfriend there (or so he claims) and b) it’s free and I’m not sure how committed I am to this whole thing. Yes, I realize those are completely ridiculous reasons to choose a dating site, but that’s pretty much me in a nutshell–completely ridiculous.

First off,  my biggest fear in online dating was being ‘seen’ by someone I know.  I realize online dating isn’t something to be ashamed of, but I didn’t want to be seen.  So imagine my surprise when my first greeting in my inbox was from…who else?  Facebook Boy.  Why even bother to send me a message after our awkward attempt at a date that he canceled at the literal last-minute? Okay, cupid…

By and large the other messages all have the same message.  “You sound cool.” Seriously, sifting through the OC inbox I have just yielded 12 out of 26 messages that, somewhere in the first few subject lines, say “You sound cool.”  Is this code for something? Am I missing out?  Okay, Cupid…

The first day I was on there, a very nice looking and normal sounding person messaged me and asked some interesting questions, so I played along.  I wrote back twice and by the end of the day he asked me to meet him at a bar to watch a football game.  Same day.  I politely declined and haven’t written back.  Hello, Craigslist killer.  Okay, cupid…

Overall, I’m unimpressed with OC aside from the funny things they’ve sent me that are entirely unrelated to me finding a date.  They sent out a flow-chart-to-my-heart based on questions I’ve answered.  I plan on posting that next week.  It’s very strange but probably somehow accurate?

The final straw, I think, with OC is the fact that I received a very strange email the other day congratulating me.  Here’s the email text:

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid’s most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you’d like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We’ve tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people’s reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.

. . .

Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:

You will now see more attractive people in your match results.

This new status won’t affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You’ll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

. . .

Suddenly, the world is your oyster. Login now and reap the rewards. And, no, we didn’t just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see.

 A) The profiles I’ve seen haven’t been any better or worse looking that before I received this letter.  B) Were you making me look at the bottom of the barrel before you determined that I wasn’t a freak-show? Okay, Cupid…

Overall, I don’t think OC is the place for me.  I am willing to try other online dating sites, but I’ll be honest when I say that I’m not sure I even put enough effort into this OC pursuit.  Several individuals wrote me, and I wrote back, but eventually my interest waned and I stopped logging on to reply.  I am not sure how to approach this online dating concept, and to me…emailing back and forth on some website just seems like it may never get to the ‘real deal’ for me.

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8 thoughts on “Okay, Cupid.

  1. Yeesh…so apparently, this website is all about looks and not personality? “From now on, you will see more attractive users?” Give me a break!

    I hated online dating…I figured when I went on a date with an online guy, who ended up telling me how marijuana changed his life, that online dating wasn’t for me. (He had also brought along an unknown liquid substances in his jacket, which he tried to get me to drink…true story!)

    1. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, I believe OC is geared toward the younger crowd. Sometimes I am too much of an old soul.

      Interestingly enough one of the first questions OC asked me was my tolerance for illegal substances. It’s sort of a big deal for me that I don’t want someone who is even a casual smoker of marijuana.

      We’ll see how online dating goes. I’m sure it can’t be all bad~

      xoxo The Blonde.

  2. Re: Your biggest fear: If someone “sees” you there it means that they were there as well. Even if it was something to be ashamed of [its not!] they’re in no position to judge.

    As far as the email thing goes; I’m still fighting (when I get someone who actually responds to a Match.com email–yes, I do write each one and would appreciate at least a “not interested” after taking the time to send one, but that’s a little bit of a rant) the ‘when do I ask the woman in real life’ issue.

    Ultimately, I think I’ve decied that 3 emails is enough to figure out if a person is crazy and make sure interesting enough to meet and about as much of a feel you can get for someone with out meeting them, without wasting too much time.

    But if the guy doesn’t ask you out, this is the 21st century: If someone interests you and is playing the email game… ask them out; if emails are going around and you aren’t at least a little interested, tell them thanks but no thanks.

    1. I’m definitely not judging anyone else on there, it’s a personal thing for me not wanting to be seen. I am very, very private about my identity and information, even to people I casually know. I work at a university and I don’t want students I work with seeing this, other people I work with, or people I’ve dated (hi Facebook Boy).

      We’ll see how comfortable I get with this. But all your information is great and I appreciate you coming with advice! Keep it coming.

      xoxo
      The Blonde.

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