My Last Resort


I’ve tried to write this post almost since the inception of this blog and yet I fail miserably every single time I begin. 

No more than a few weeks after the dissolution of the union with The Boyfriend, I sat with friends and had my very own Scarlett O’Hara moment of  tearfully shouting “But, but..where will I go? What will I do?”

And as it turns out, unlike Rhett, my friends did give a damn and reassured me that I’d meet someone again. I am bright, funny, ambitious, they all agreed. And if none of that pans out?  “There’s always online dating, after all.”

Online dating seemed like a last resort to most of the people I talked to.  It set me up to view it in a way that said “I may be single, but at least I’m not..”. 

And that is an odd position for me to have, considering I use the internet to connect to individuals every single day with no stigma attached.  My favorite uncle met his wife online, though not through a dating service, and I’ve never found that situation to be inappropriate or odd.  The friend I dressed up with on Halloween? I met through online means, though these days I actually forget that fact! My best friend lives in Virginia and I met her online and only know her online.  Last fall I met up with some friends at a concert that I had known online for years.  I’m meeting people online and incorporating them into my real life, the only difference is I’m not on a website specifically designed to meet these people.

In the last six months, many people have begun suggesting online dating to me as an option. A friend who once told me it was her “last resort” has been forwarding me Craigslist ads for my area (Hi LM!).  A friend actually met a wonderful guy on a dating site, and even my uncle who usually remains mum on topics of dating said “I mean, maybe you should try Zoosk or something..” 

Does this mean that my friends don’t believe I can meet someone offline, or does it simply mean that they think I’m ready to meet someone in general?

I’m willing to admit that I have been fairly judgmental of the online dating arena despite proof in my real life that good things do happen here. 

For some reason, I assume that normal people are online, reading this blog and others, but only the damaged and weird use online dating services.  And probably there are some damaged people on dating sites.  But it’s not like I haven’t met damaged people in real life and went on dates (or didn’t go on dates, as the case may be) with them. 

We’ll see where this goes.  But whatever I decide, this isn’t the end of my rope and it’s isn’t my last-ditch effort.

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5 thoughts on “My Last Resort

  1. I’m going back and forth on this option!! I’m interested to see how it works out, we are totally in the same situation and reading your blog is great! I just started mine and I hope you take a look and find some parallels as well!

    Sarah

  2. Online dating is…interesting. I think it’s very successful for some, and not so much for others. I know people who have experienced both. I don’t think that your friends suggesting it means they think you can’t meet someone in the reals world. It’s just that as you grow older, it becomes so much harder to meet people. Your social groups tend to get smaller, you’re not in school, so you can’t meet the guy in your Sociology class, etc, etc. You kinda want to avoid dating someone at work cuz that can get messy….online dating just opens you up to a whole other world of people you wouldn’t normally get to meet. Yes some of them are freak attacks, but some of them are extremely nice people. Try it!

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