Q&A Tuesday


vegetarian salad (Palermo)
Image via Wikipedia

Most every Tuesday I answer questions submitted by readers on my formspring.me account.  I invite questions or insight anonymously on the site and answer them in a post the following week. Submit your questions for next week’s edition by clicking this link.  Link opens in a new window.

This Q&A doesn’t come from my formspring account, but it could.  I found this one last week checking my “search engine terms” tab.  Someone, apparently, needed information on whether or not it’s appropriate for males to order salads as entrees on dates.

At first I really thought I covered this already by discussing what to order on a date.  But upon further inspection I don’t believe I did.  I have said that women don’t need to order salad on a date in order to seem feminine and ‘dainty’.  Women can eat a full meal on a date and should not feel self conscious.  Men, appreciate that a woman was comfortable enough to order food on a date, okay?!

But the question here at hand is asking if it’s appropriate for a man to eat a salad while taking a woman out.  Absolutely.  Order what you want! If you like salad, or find that you’re needed some vegetables that day.  I don’t think men eating salads are less masculine at all.

Be aware of this, though.  If you order a salad, your date will probably be compelled to order something similar.  Women most of the time), right or wrong, take their cues from what the male is ordering.  This is because a) we don’t like to stick out and b) you’re paying.

I can’t speak for all women, but I can tell you how I feel.  If you’re paying (and you ARE paying, aren’t you?!) then I don’t want to order something that’s too pricey.  The reasoning behind this is two-fold:  one, I’m not a bitch that’s dating to dine.  I can buy my dinner, but you’re courting me.  I’d like to be nice and keep it in a range you’re comfortable with, without having to ask you.  Two, and to me, most importantly…I don’t want there to be annnnny expectations.  I don’t know if this happens anymore, but I don’t want you dropping me off, expecting bedlam (if you know what I mean!) and then driving off muttering “I bought you the steak dinner and I don’t even get a handjob?” because no, I’m not doing anything on the first date.  (I can say this with a fair amount of certainty. I’m very picky.) So, to prevent this, I’m ordering something reasonable and probably within $1.00 of what you’re ordering.  Then, there are no expectations.

So, if you order a salad, I’m ordering a salad.  Then we’re both in the same price range and I’m not eating something greasy while you’re all healthy.

I hope this question helps whoever was Googling the scenario.  If you happen to find me again…did you order a salad? Or if you’re a  ‘she’ and it was a he who ordered the salad….were you offended?

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2 thoughts on “Q&A Tuesday

  1. Since it’s your Q and your A I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to add my two cents, but…

    If you’re on a date and you don’t even feel comfortable ordering what you’re in the mood for that’s a big danger sign. “Be yourself” isn’t just in conversation. (Though when on a date with a vegitarian, which it seems I’ve met a fair number of, I do ask if they would be offended if I order a meat dish) — I’ve ordered salads, and I don’t pay attention to menu prices.

    On the subject of paying: Heck yeah, I’m paying (assuming I asked you out) but I do appreciate the offer, that, tells me that you’re concious and not just looking for free food. It seems like the dance is: Check arrives, I discretely grab it, you offer, I decline, you offer again, I say it’s really not a problem, you say Thank You, I say you’re welcome. Perhaps that’s a question for your next Q&A Tuesday: At what point is it appropriate for the lady to grab or split the check? (Among friends I dispise “splitting” checks — I prefer the “I’ll get it today/you’ll get it next time” approach)

    1. First off, you’re welcome to include your input on any post 🙂

      Second, on the matter of offering to pay…reminds me of the last disaster date I went on. The check came, he grabbed, I offered to pay and he said “Pffft. That sounded super fake. Next time try to at least SOUND like you wanna pay?”

      I was completely sincere. Sigh.

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