An update on Facebook Boy.
He finally sent me a message on Facebook that wasn’t a “like” or comment on a status. It was a private message asking what I was doing. It was late-ish. But I responded anyway, because I’ve been waiting for this opportunity to come up for a while. I don’t know much about him other than, on paper, we should have something in common. I decided, against my better judgement, to give him my number and encouraged him to text me. I know the reviews are mixed on whether or not texting is okay, but for me, someone who HATES talking on the phone, texting is a good choice.
So he immediately texted me. The conversation wasn’t stellar, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. The last ‘first date’ I went on, I wrote off because I felt like we didn’t have much in common, conversation wise, and I sort of regret that. Not everyone I meet is going to be my best friend from the get-go. I tend to be a harsh critic and rarely, if ever, have I liked someone on a first meeting. So I’m cruising with the conversation about football, the LSAT, whatever..when all of a sudden I get this gem:
FB Boy: You’re making me think bad things.
…what? I’m sorry but if the LSAT and football get you going, God help you if I ever did start to flirt with you.
I felt inexplicably odd. The conversation took a major turn for the worse without me seeing that coming. I decided to be cool and go with the flow and dive more into the subject with an innocent enough, but probing “Why’s that?”
I can’t even remember the answer, but I can assure you it was juvenile. I bid my farewell, said I was heading to bed and would speak to him in the future. To which I got a “Dang, now I’ve got to stop thinking!” text. No, friend, now you need to start thinking.
I couldn’t help but think as I went to sleep about the shock and awe that was just unleashed on me. Somehow I went from casually making conversation at a cash register to three weeks later out of the blue “exciting” someone. Via text message. About football. I felt creepy and inappropriate. After all, I am nearing the other side of my mid-twenties and he’s probably at most 21 or 22. And his conversation skills remind me of a 14-year-old.
Anyway, I went to bed and tried to sleep off the odd feeling. After all, I was operating on little sleep, a huge Vols defeat, and a sore brain from the LSAT. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. He seems so nice in person.
At 10:04am on Sunday he texted me again. It’s a little early for my taste, though I had been up for about three hours. Again, I admonished myself for being too picky and decided to answer back. After all, it’s nice that someone wants to talk to me, nice that someone thinks to text before 3pm. Didn’t I spend an entire year complaining about The Friend and his lack of ability to communicate? …I digress.
Anyway, the texting again goes from nonchalant to totally inappropriate for 10:00 on a Sunday morning. There is a suggestion that he is rolling around in bed, to which I say “I’m going to brunch, talk to you later!”
The creme de la creme came later in the evening. He texted me and asked if I was busy this week and if I’d like to hang out. I swear, with every fiber of my being, that I agreed simply because of this blog. Against my better judgment I said “Sure! I am free most evenings after 6:00pm. What’s good for you?”
His next text wasn’t a suggestion of time, place or activity. No, it was “Can I ask you a question?”
“Ah, here we go!” I thought. Finally the meat of the situation. He’s going to ask why I want to go out with him, or he’s going to ask if I really think I like him, or something equally juvenile but nice and redeeming in its own way.
But no. No. His next text simply asked “What size bra do you wear?”
First off, inappropriate. Inappropriate because a) we’ve just started talking and b) you were trying to ask me to go somewhere. Second, bad form. That sort of information seems like something a high schooler would ask. The sexting you’re putting out there is bad, Facebook boy. It’s not even titillating. It’s boring and contrived and seems like you’re inexperienced. Hey, that’s fine. But don’t put on a front.
The juvenile nature of the sexting makes me feel old and creepy and not at all interested. I mean, it’s not bold. It’s timid and out-of-place. In fact, I can recall sleeping with someone for two years before they ever even thought to ask me my bra size. I think seeing is believing in that situation. And this kid has definitely seen me in person!
I feel like it’s time for some serious introspective research. Is there something on my Facebook profile that directly or indirectly says “Sext Me.” ? I was talking to a friend and I told her it was disappointing, because almost every male I’ve had contact with this year has inappropriate texted me. Some of them were good (hey, you know who you are!) and welcome, but the last few have been flops.
I feel like I’m getting older. I realize I’m not old by any means, but I am getting older. I feel like it’s time that I deal with men who can carry solid conversation, who are articulate and maybe even witty. Someone who is able to ask me, directly, for a time to meet up without having to insinuate that we could ‘hook up’.
I’ll admit, at first it was flattering that I’ve had so much sexting action in the last month or so. But honestly, now it’s making me start to question myself. Am I giving off a bad vibe? Do I seem easy? I’m certainly not easy. I do like to have fun, but I don’t think ‘fun’ and ‘ask me my bra size’ are exactly synonymous.