Hi, Hello, How Are Ya?

Studies show that a simple “hello” is the most effective pick-up line.

Really? How long did that study take?

Because let’s face it, when someone approaches you in public, our first instinct is probably to assume they’re going to be lame, boring, creepy, or all three. If someone feeds you a line, it’s annoying. They’re approaching you like an object and not as a human. When someone comes up to you, is friendly but respects your space, and carries on a normal conversation..it’s more than refreshing.  It can be a real turn on. I can’t be the only person in the world more turned on by an honest effort of communication rather than a pick up line…can I?

But don’t get too cocky, folks.  “Hi” is not the new “Your place or mine?”. While I agree that simply introducing yourself and starting a conversation is the most effective way to interact with anyone, I will say that you’ve got to have something behind the “hello” that keeps the conversation moving.  Something that makes the other person want to keep talking and dive deeper.

You’ve got to have something to keep me engaged in the conversation. If you say “hello”, introduce yourself, and then ask me “so what do you do?” I’m probably going to yawn. I don’t do anything spectacular, and that’s a dead end conversation. Don’t ask where I’m from, that’s boring too. In fact, don’t feed me any of the stereotypical ‘get to know you’ questions that you’d ask your college roomate or first date. I want something that gets me into the conversation.  

On a date I was recently on, the guy and I hadn’t spoken more than 3 minutes total in person. We met for a drink. I’ll be honest, this was less like a date and more like meeting someone in a bar. So beyond the “hello” and “how are you?”  the converastion needed to pick up. Rather than asking me the standard “where are you from what do you do for fun” run on sentence style questions, he said “tell me your life story”.

It was brilliant. And though I didn’t on a second date, I give him props for wowing me with a spectacular follow up to “hello”. “Tell me your life story” seemed exciting. Yeah, it’s a ‘line’, but it’s not cheesy. It lets me have some leeway with what I want to tell, and makes for a longer answer than “job.” “home town.” Telling your life story is great because shoot-off conversations come from the story you tell.

I won’t lie, I’m going to use this line. It worked well, carried the conversation for more than an hour, and was pretty crafty if you ask me. From the time I said “I was born at a Putt-Putt Golf Course” things were off and running.

Yeah, it’s important not to use a cheesy line. But it’s also important not to ask boring follow up questions.

So, do you have anything that you use after “hello”? Do you think asking a clever question is important?



5 thoughts on “Hi, Hello, How Are Ya?

  1. Conversation is important…clever question…undecided. I don’t know how else you attain conversation withoug questions, but it can be a minefield because you run the risk of getting “too personal” and scaring people away.

    In the same vein as “tell me your life story” — instead of “what’s your job?”… “how do you pass the time?” (avoids awkward moments if the person has no job and bonus you can tell how the person thinks and what they value based on their response)


    1. It’s true that a clever question can be a bit of a pick up line, but..sometimes it’s nice, in my opinion.

      Speaking of awkward moments, when I was telling my life story to the disaster first date, I started off with “I was born at a Putt-Putt Golf Course”. He interrupted and said “So your dad thought it was okay to take your mom there 9 months pregnant?!” To which I had to respond “I was raised by a single mother..”

      1. Ehh. The other aspects of the date weren’t so stellar for me, so we didn’t go out again. He texted far too often, in fact he texted me before I even made it home from our date. I wasn’t ready for someone to be keeping tabs on me.

        He also made a really uncomfortable comment regarding me paying for the date, he made me feel pressured to kiss him goodnight…

        It wasn’t a love connection.

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