Lately I’ve had complaints that I’m unsure where I am going or what I am doing. I mean, not literally. More in a spiritual sense, actually.
I feel a bit lost, and perhaps stuck in the mud. My wheels are turning but I’m not getting anywhere. I feel like there is something bigger and more meaningful that must be calling my name, but I just completely and utterly unsure of what it is. But I’m not sure that I ever did know what exactly my “calling” was.
I never had a great plan in my life besides wanting to come to college. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, long term, other than graduate. And I did graduate, quite easily. I majored in Political Sciences because I heard about it in high school and thought “it’s so awesome that you can study just politics!”. I studied it because I found it interesting, and quite frankly, I was good at it. But I was good at it on paper, just not in person. Not that I ever tried it as a career…
Anyway I got this job as a student, I am fairly good at it (I hope?), and I keep trudging along because it’s what I know. But I know that there is something missing for me. I miss school. I miss an academic challenge. I miss reading something and discussing it. I want something to be proud of, a success.. And I would honestly like to make more money.
So tomorrow I am taking the LSAT. Just call me Elle Woods, I suppose. I haven’t really told many people, nor advertised it..just in case I chicken out or I fail miserably. But my intent is to see how I do and explore going to law school.
I am excited and at the same time nervous. It’s a big commitment, I am not sure if I am smart enough to make it through law school. But what have I got to lose? I committed myself to losing weight, and I put myself first and made that happen. So now I’m committing myself to pursuing something *I* want. I’m going to make that happen too. This is the perfect time to go after something I want, since I’ve got no one else to worry about supporting. No husband, no children. It’s all about me. And now I will never have to wonder. I will always know.
I guess today I am glad I am single because I’m spending time living my life and doing things for me. One day it might get old, but not today. I’m excited to be taking steps to be a better Blonde.
And if all that fails, maybe one day I’ll write a book about my time spent here in the dating world. Who knows?