Most every Tuesday I answer questions submitted by readers on my formspring.me account. I invite questions or insight anonymously on the site and answer them in a post the following week. Submit your questions for next week’s edition by clicking this link. Link opens in a new window.
This week’s question deals with the three most lovely and dangerous words of a relationship–I LOVE YOU.
What was your first “I love you” like?
The first time I said I love you was to The Boyfriend, as he was my high school sweet-heart. In fact, it’s all so story-book in the fact that I had a little elementary school crush on him, too, before we got to high school. Aww, wasn’t that sweet? Eh, whatevs..
Anyway, the actual moment isn’t that great. I remember being overly cautious with the “I love you” phrase and I don’t think either of us said the words until at least 4 months into the relationship, which is probably a long time for puppy-love high school romances, and maybe even a long time for “adult” relationships. The bottom line is I probably felt it long before I said it, and I remember actually refusing to be the first person to say it. If memory serves me correctly, we got into an argument about who had to say it first. The words were uttered around 1am on the telephone. I know it isn’t glamorous or movie scenic at all, but it’s a funny memory and I’m not so sure I’d change it.
Funny enough, even after I said it the first time, I never got comfortable saying it in public and especially in front of my parents; it was an unspoken rule that I wouldn’t say it on the phone if my mother was in the room. This phase continued through our relationship even into my twenties, and now that I look back on it…that’s a little (okay…a lot) strange. In the end, I think it caused my mother to question the seriousness of my relationship. She seemed to think there was something wrong with The Boyfriend and his commitment to me long before there ever was a problem. And the shock that she must’ve felt when we split and I was devastated wouldn’t have been a problem had I been more open about my relationship. I know she questioned how I could be “so in love” if I absolutely never said it.
Hmm. This ‘cute little story’ quickly turned contemplative and depressing.
Incidentally I’ve said the three words to someone else, on a consistent basis, and the story surrounding that first I love is not something I’d like to share on a blog. Let the lesson be this: Never, ever trust a man who says a phrase after he’s gotten something he wants. 🙂
Goals from this formspring Q&A session? To say “I love you” first and to mean it. Also, to be genuine with a relationship in public?
Wow. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer today. What was your “I love you” like?