After yesterday’s post where I discussed the line between being a happy single and a relieved-but-alone person…I’m supposed to sit down and discuss how happy I am to be free? Hard to motivate myself. But I refuse to skip a Friday.
There are plenty of things to be glad about. I am thankful that I am single. It’s a very exciting point in my life, most of the time. But I have faith that this is just a phase. I feel, in my heart of hearts, that one day, I will meet someone and we will make it work. Someone once asked me if I worried about being alone forever. I sit here and tell you now, and meant it, I honestly am not afraid that I will grow old and die alone.
I know, rationally, that I am a funny, attractive woman. I have interests and passions. I am smart and independent. I am eager to share my life, my space, my heart. And more importantly, I believe that there is a lid for every pot. That is, every pot that wants to be covered. I think that with time, effort, and luck, I will be able to share my life with someone.
I don’t want just any someone, though. I want the person to fit me well. I’m not saving we have to be a perfect match. I’m not sure a perfect match exists. But I want someone who shares my goals and my values. Someone who respects me, loves me, and wants to share their life with me. And someone who makes me want to respect, love and share with them. I think the greatest part about being single, now, is that I am able to take a step back, evaluate who I am and what I want, and then I’ll be able to communicate these desires to a partner in the future. In my previous relationships, specifically the one with The Boyfriend, I was too young. Things I wanted were either unrealistic, unattainable, or I flat-out changed my mind from ages 15 to 20. I think that’s normal, too. But if you both change and go in different directions, it’s impossible to maintain. But as I grow up and become more stable and sure of my desires, I can take these and find someone who is a good fit. A good fit, for a long time. I’m glad I’ve got this opportunity for a while.
I think in the end, it’s great that I am happy where I am. It beats the alternative, which was being sad a lot and having no fun alone. But as long as I remind myself that it is temporary, and that eventually I have to let others back into my world…I’ll be fine. If I ever forget this is temporary, then we’ll have problems.