I’m back. Sorry for the extended break. I was out of the country, on a cruise with my cousin. I was gone for a total of 11 days, 7 of which were out of the country. I left my cellular phone and laptop behind and cut myself off from communication—that is communication that wasn’t live and in person.
I’m glad to be back but my time away was intensely refreshing and eye opening in many ways. I have many things to tell you, and I don’t know where to start. So many things became clear during my time in Haiti, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Mexico. Things about my past, my present, and my future were revealed as I spent time with myself. I climbed a waterfall, snorkeled with Nemo and Dory (or at the very least their look-alikes!); I was kissed by a stingray. Incidentally, the stingray kiss was the first kiss I’ve had since July. Allegedly the stingray smooch brings 7 years of good luck. We’ll see.
It’s a reminder, every extravagant trip I’ve taken in the last two years, that I have changed a lot and have so many opportunities as a single lady. Prior to being the fabulous single blonde that I am now, I didn’t do much of anything alone, but now I am driving myself on road trips, flying to exotic destinations alone, and going out of the country for a week at a time. I am a far cry from the afraid, dependant girl that started this half-decade. The pride swells inside of me sometimes.
I can’t help but embrace this new, unattached, and spectacularly new person I’ve grown to be in the last two years. And all the doubt I had in the weeks before….well they all truly washed away during this trip. Being cut off from blogging, Twitter, and Facebook as well as a telephone reminded me of some key things. First and foremost, I missed my family. I have become so attached to them in the two years following my breakup. They are who I choose to share my accomplishments with; they are who I seek in times of struggle. I may not speak to them daily, but definitely at least once in seven days. Not having that contact was definitely hard; a pain in my heart came up sometimes. I was reminded what it is to truly miss someone. And I don’t feel that for anyone in my past. It was a great reminder and lesson. Maybe I had some nostalgia for awhile, but it definitely doesn’t hurt that badly anymore. It’s going to be alright. If the feelings have faded this much…they’ll get even fainter in time. I’m growing. It’s…refreshing.
That is not to say that having a partner on a cruise wouldn’t have been nice. Cruises are definitely made for couples if they’re not specifically singles cruises. I had an excellent time and my cousin made sure we had plenty to do to keep busy. But I couldn’t help thinking at certain times “wouldn’t it this be a great time with a boyfriend?” Everyone had someone, it seemed. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends. It would’ve been great to get dressed up for formal night and have a partner to take photos with as I sipped champagne. Maybe a boyfriend to fetch drinks by the pool as I saved our seats…someone to drag to trivia (I won a gold and silver medal by the way!), someone to dance with in the piano bar. For the first time in a while I felt an empty space in my heart, but it wasn’t for anyone specific. It was for someone I don’t think I’ve met yet. But it’s progress for me that I even consider it to be a space for no one in particular. I have faith someone will be sitting in the reclining pool chair with me in the future.
I can’t believe how refreshed I am after this vacation. I’m not sure if it’s the scenery, the lack of outside contact (seriously, what a relief it was!), or the major athletic activities I took part in…whatever it was, I’m glad to be back, glad to be plugged into the moment, and glad to be blogging again.
I am ready to take this blog to new levels; ready to meet people; ready to go on dates; ready to have fun. Keep coming back and tell your friends, because I plan to make things happen around here.
XOXO The Blonde.