I apologize for the delay in Q&A Tuesday, as I was working on a big event at my primary (but not favorite! that’s blogging!) job.
Classic question and one that I feel pretty strongly about, actually.
The party who extends the invitation should also open the wallet. End of story. Even if you’re the “woman”. If you invite someone to go somewhere and it is a date (and don’t play that “just getting to know someone” game here, people!) then you are obligating yourself to pay the bill for both parties, whether it’s expensive or they drink too much or I don’t care what. It is the price you pay to spend time with someone.
With that being said, I think it’s a polite move to offer to pay for your half should you feel inclined to do so. This can be either a kind gesture or alleviating yourself from the pressure of ‘owing’ someone something following a date. Never should you feel obligated to put anything ‘out’ if you’ve received compensation in the form of meals or drinks!
A funny story from my last date–following drinks at a local brewery the check came. My date quickly grabbed the bill and pulled out his card, which was a great move. However, in both a gesture of kindness and to alleviate myself from any obligations I offered to pay my half. Of course I didn’t get my hands on the check first, but I reached for my purse and said “You certainly don’t have to pay for my drinks! Allow me…” and before I could finish my date says “Hmm. That wasn’t a very genuine offer.”
Incidentally I ended up kissing him at the end of the date because I felt guilty. But that’s an entirely other story for another question!
I’m really torn on answering this question, actually. I don’t think it should matter what anyone eats, ever. Nothing pisses me off more than commentary on what I am eating! However, I am sure that many people, but especially women, agonize over this very subject.
If you’re that nervous, let him order first and follow suit with a similarly sized entrée if you’re hungry. If you’re not hungry but he will be eating, it’s probably more polite to still get an appetizer and snack on that. I’m usually less concerned about portion size/amount I am eating than the price of what I’m ordering! I don’t want to be seen as someone who intentionally ordered something expensive because I was being ‘taken out’–nor do I want to “get the lobster and have to put out”. *shrug*
I don’t think men generally care what you eat as long as it’s nothing disgusting to watch you eat. Maybe ordering the rack of ribs isn’t a great idea–not portion wise, but the manner in which you eat it can be a bit…messy. I’ve seen some men say that they prefer women to eat on a date and not be afraid to have an appetite.
To me, it’s all relative. Don’t order a steak dinner if the plan was drinks. Conversely, don’t just order drinks if he took you out to dinner.
More next week! (and on time!)
xoxo, The Blonde.