If there’s one thing I’ve learned as an “independent woman” it’s that I never want to go back to the way it was–dependent and unable to make a move.
I know, I know, you’re probably thinking “every single girl says this”, but it was true. I was in an awkward situation. I lived with someone who paid all the bills and drove me everywhere because I didn’t have a car. I spent my money any way I chose, which was usually at Sephora in $300 chunks. I thought I was pretty happy spending my money any way I wanted and having almost nothing that was entirely mine. My entire existence eventually became dependent on someone else’s ability to wake up, take me to work, pay the bills, and let me play around like a little kid. Eventually I became bored, sad, and pathetic….and my boyfriend at the time resented me for a million different reasons. It was an irresponsible lifestyle, to be sure, and when the time came to tell someone to fuck off–I couldn’t.
I didn’t have the financial ability to buy a car of my choice, to put a deposit on an apartment, or get myself out of a jam. Every time I got the nerve to say “I want to do this on my own”, I had to stop and think. Where would my next meal come from? How would I get to work? So, eventually, I’d back down and forget about leaving. And then one time, it was all just too much, and I couldn’t stand to stomach my life for one minute longer. I left, took what was mine (which wasn’t very much) and had to rely on family (thank God!) and a friend (meh….) to get me out of numerous jams.
This was truly the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn. Life is fun when you have no worries, but it’s not fulfilling at all. I had no purpose. And I won’t even get started on how painful it is to rely on someone to literally accompany you everywhere at all times, in order to drive you to and fro. I am thankful for being single and learning to live alone, pay bills, drive, navigate my own way around town and through life. I know I can do it myself now. That, my friends, is a feeling worth it’s weight in Sephora products. Yes, it is hard. Sometimes I work too hard, get paid too little, and at the end of the day I have very few dollars left over for fun stuff. But doing it for myself beats being stuck any day, hands down.
A lot of people call their rainy day funds different things. I prefer to call it the “GTFO” fund. I want enough money to help me “get the &$%# out” of any situation–a bad lease, a bad relationship, car trouble…whatever. I never want to feel stuck anywhere again. I don’t want money to make me stay unhappy again.
Do you have a GTFO fund? Have you ever been stuck in a bad relationship because of money?