How should a young woman like yourself dress for a date?

Leave your short-shorts and tube tops at home. I personally don’t think it’s appropriate to wear anything excessively revealing on a date–especially a first date. So I like to wear an outfit that is cute, but very stylish. A lower neckline is fine, but nothing with a plunge. Who wants a possible relationship to start out with someone staring at your boobs rather than listening to what you say?

My standard is jeans or a jean skirt with layered tanktops or a nice plain shirt. An interesting piece of jewelry like a necklace can also provide a conversation topic sometimes. Earrings always make me feel more dressed up, but I won’t pair funky earrings with a bigger necklace.

I think feeling comfortable in your clothing is important, too. If you’re constantly tugging something up or down, or having to make sure it’s covering you up, you’ll be distracted from the topic at hand–getting to know someone.

Just my two cents.

Ask me anything


25 thoughts on “How should a young woman like yourself dress for a date?

  1. First off, I’m over 40, so, may help explain my attitude.

    Anyway, when I was looking and on various dating sites, if you wanted to me to go right on past your profile, just put in a picture with a plunging neckline. My other turnoff was the 40 something year old that thought she should borrow clothes from her daughter, because, well, she could.


    Classy and age appropriate is what I prefer. I also can’t believe I’m unusual in that department.

    And that’s the kind of person I will be marrying in a few months.

    1. I’m actually working on a post about online dating photos and why it scares me away from online dating. Your comment sums up my feelings entirely 🙂

      Thanks for reading and stopping by!

      Double kisses!

      Xoxo The Blonde

  2. No denim. No denim. No denim. To garden, sure. To wash the car, sure. To vacuum, sure. To wash the dog, sure. On a date: no denim. No denim. No denim. Looks poor. Looks grubby no matter how new or expensive it is. Looks like you don’t care. Looks like you’ll put up with any kind of treatment. Also, not a million little details. Not a million little bits of jewelry and accessories. The guy will get dizzy and confused, which annoys them. Above all, get your hair to do something, with gel or a clip. Make-up should start with the eyes. Some blush if you are white skinned. Don’t look painted, that makes men feel targeted and frightened. Shoes: no sneakers or running shoes – but – comfortable shoes so you can take a walk conveniently. Kitten heels maybe. Decent, but pale nails. Black nails ok, if you’re the type. No red, that scares them – looks like bloody claws. A little bag, not a big one. With a big one, you look like you are on your way to other things after seeing him, like seeing him is just one stop on your schedule. No clothes that are too tight – men hate to be made to stare against their will. They like to be in charge of what they think about and look at. No cleavage, same reason. If you look pretty reasonable most of the time, there won’t be this “dressing up to go out” thing, which makes you feel like it isn’t really you. So, look darn fine all the time, then you just grab your little bag, put some more black pencil on your eyes, and you’re going out, and it’s the normal you. Wear a lot of black and white, that calms people, and that way all your clothes go together. Have attractive teeth. Carry breath tabs. No denim. No matter what color or shade of denim it is. No denim. You will be the unusual one, and that is intriguing. The other women will all be in denim, and they will look cheaper than you. There is a lot of black polyester crepe around, use it. It’s machine washable, inside out, in cold water, and hung up, no dryer, needs no ironing. In a sandal you won’t look too formal. If you don’t distract the guy he will be able to converse. But they distract very easily. Even if they wear denim themselves, they don’t want to see it on you. Even if they deny it loudly. If you can’t afford perfume, use lavendar scented soap from Duane Reade.

  3. Don’t wear a watch on a date. The guy should not wonder, even unconsciously, if you are going someplace else after seeing him, and therefore have to keep track of the time. Anyway, your smart-phone knows the time. Your purse should have a thin little strap, and be attached to you at all times. Don’t hang it on your chair back, or leave it on the table, or sinkside in the Ladies’.

  4. If you’re dating somebody during the day, put your watch in your purse until after he’s gone. The sight of your watch will annoy him. If later he’s in love with you, you can then wear a watch then. Just not in the beginning. Don’t wear a pocket protector, or slide rule hanging from your belt, either. No professional tools. A watch is a tool of business. A woman with a watch is a colleague, business rival, business contact or friend. That’s not dating.

  5. Slide rules were before calculators. They hung from your belt, and were a badge of competence. I just meant: on a date you are just you, yourself, purely as a person, not a professional this or that. So don’t display any work implements, tools, badges or insignia of any kind. Even a watch says, “I have other obligations besides hanging with you, dude”. That’s not what you want to project. Men are extremely clued into visuals, and they draw a lot of conclusions from even the mildest signs and signals. Maybe they shouldn’t, but they do, and always will, so control your messages.

    By the way, wear no rings at all. Bracelets, earrings, necklaces, belts and a tiara, fine. But no rings. You might look taken. Nobody knows which hand is the left, and anyway, other people see you in reverse. Don’t take a chance. No rings at all, no matter how tiny. Bare fingers. A manicure and a bracelet, fine, nothing else.

    1. I’m going to go on and say that if someone can’t tell their right from their left hand, I probably don’t want to be dating him. Just saying.

  6. It seems to me a first date should be 10:30 am for coffee, during the week, near work. No crowds, no noise. A first date in a loud or fancy place is insanity. Too much theater. You can’t get to know the person.

    At a bar, you will meet the kind of people who go to bars. Obviously. That’s where you are. In a bar. Worse, you will be viewed as the kind of person who goes to bars. Because that’s where you are. So, never go to a bar alone or with women. A guy can take you there. Your liver is much smaller than his, so is your blood volume, and you process sugar much faster than he does, so drink very, very little.

    Does the bartender know him too well? Does the maitre d’ know him too well? He’s too good at this. Find someone awkward and lonely. They marry. Dating too much creates professional daters. A big disadvantage in a spouse. Be a wallflower a little. Read a book. Stay pure. Don’t be shopworn. Be adorable and nice but a little naive. Don’t just “get out of the house”.

  7. Don’t commit emotional adultery. Don’t act like a wife if you are not one. Example: don’t let a guy you have been seeing too long without marrying tell you how his day went, and how his mother’s sciatica is doing. Only a wife has to listen to that stuff. To get that kind of precious emotional support from you, he has to come across with a stable life, a ring and a child. Understand how precious your sweet concern is. If he is not ready to marry now, for career reasons, that’s fine. He can tell you how his mother’s sciatica is a few years from now, when he is ready to marry. Maybe she will have got over it by then. Maybe you will have married some other man. Who knows. But no emotional adultery. You want to blather unaffectedly, at all hours, make me a member of your family.

  8. I was kidding about the slide rule. But carrying a bag big enough for office papers, visible electronics, and even a watch, on a date, is the same thing as clunking around dangling a great swinging slide rule, a wrench or two, an electric drill, and a T-Square. These visual cues say “I can take care of myself”. His attitude will be “Fine. Go do that. So can I. Goodbye”. Even unconsciously.

    If you can take care of yourself, you are only hanging with him for a little amusement. A guy does not see himself as entertainment, some R and R for you, so you can be reposed to make your next business decision. He loves to amuse, but not to just be there only for amusement. He needs a purpose. This is the hunter sex. They don’t take walks in the forest for recreation, they scout prey for dinner. Even their poets write for the serious purpose of speaking to Humanity. If taking care of you is a possible purpose, then seeing you is worth his time. If not, what is he doing there? He has a day job. He is not a gigolo. What if it’s just amusement for both of youWhat’s wrong with a little purposeless fun, you say? Maybe. But neither of you is really a professional gigolo. You are mere amateurs, playing with dangerous physical and emotional machinery, enjoying the pretty sparks and colors these machines give off, with no idea how they really work. Professional gigolos don’t get broken hearts. But you folks easily could. Both of you. Guy and girl. Equally destructive one to the other.

    Men smile well, but for them, this is the Major Leagues. It is no more about fun, for them, than the Major Leagues is about having a wonderful afternoon playing a little baseball with some friends ‘cos we’re young and strong and it’s a beautiful day. You need to signal clearly. Just entering traffic without signaling, and noodling along, ‘cos it’s fun to drive this here shiny new vehicle, meaning me, not to actually go anywhere specific, just enjoying the ride and admiring the scenery, is not the way to drive. And there is plenty of scenery! Nice men all over! Here comes one now! How nicely they smile at me when I am only twenty! We have five fun years ahead! Screech! Bummer! Broken heart! Oh well. We have the rest of our lives to complain about it all, from the sidelines. Many people never get back into the action again, not maritally, anyway, for the rest of their mortal days, after one big thumping crack-up in their middle twenties. So such a crack-up is worth taking some trouble to avoid. Would you please watch the road and signal?

    You really do only have five years of freshness left. Oh, you will be truly gorgeous, toned, coifed, expertly made up and fascinatingly chic and alluring, deep into your fifties. But gorgeousness is not the same as freshness. That extreme tightness in the face, that I’m-new-at-this-isn’t-life-a-gas-golly-gee-oh-brave-new-world thing has only five years to run. If that many. So think a little. Every day isn’t Valentine’s Day and people are people. They have mothers. With sciatica. Your goal is to be a mother too. Where is it written you can’t have the best? The best is a nice husband, the real thing, and children who care about your sciatica. Everybody has ancestors but not everybody has descendants. Your ancestors won’t care how your day went.

  9. So, either read Colette, or become orthodoxly religious. Or both at different times. But not neither. It’s more fun to be religious, long term. So much work, you say. Yes, it is a lot of work to be religious. But, the Colette path is plenty of work, too. Alternatively, you could just hide under the bed and wait for the storm to pass. That’s not a bad idea. It can all work out later. But – the longer you wait, the fewer children, or no children at all, as everybody knows. The religious way is the best. They seem very happy. Maybe it is good to have a sergeant-at-arms. And no, real religion isn’t a woman-oppressor, not when done right. So Merry Christmas.

  10. If you are a Jew, you could run to the nearest Chabad. Observe the rabbi’s wife. How oppressed does she really look? Does your mother smile as much as she does? Yes, it’s all a lot of work. But everything is a lot of work, and she has an awful lot to show for her work.

  11. Orthodox Jewish parents find the right spouses for their children using a formal, structured system, with professional and non-professional matchmakers, that can take a year or more of hard work and frustration. They get it right most of the time, but the sweet fruits of their way of life are very far from free. They pay huge costs in money, time and effort. Their men pray at least two hours a day total, every day, some of it before work, using sleep time. And after work too. Weekends too. Women too, though they are not required to, in the same way. And many study religious texts on top of that. This is a demanding way of life. If other religions do the hard work, according to their own ways and traditions, they will have the fruits too. Non-Orthodox Jews, by contrast, don’t use matchmakers, and simply hope for the best like everybody else, with the same dismal results as everybody else. They run into the intrinsic contradictions within their system like everybody else.

    What are the intrinsic contradictions? At age 30, the girl is ready, but not the guy. By the time he is ready, at age 35, she is too desperate, and knows too much. She’s too hard to impress. So, he doesn’t want her, he wants a younger one, especially as the younger one is more likely to be certain to be fertile. But the younger isn’t ready, remember. She wants to be all she can be. Her mother and aunts would kill her for limiting her life choices by marrying and having children “so early”. Now it’s his turn to cry. So he’s crying, and so is his female age-mate, who he should have been forced bodily to marry when they were both 20 or 22. They would have matured together. The only happy people outside of Orthodoxy, Jewish and Christian, are the very young, for a very brief time. Plenty of broken hearts all around, and no birthrate.

    And, the Orthodox of both religions view themselves as part of a cosmic continuum. This takes the whole thing out of the mere amusement category.

    Religious committment is hard work but it pays off.

    Men are intrinsically military by nature in the sense that they understand institutional requirements, chain of command, rank, obligation and the logic of a task. They think in terms of work platoons. Without religious structure they have no idea what marriage is even for. They see marriage as a system to get a task done. Without religion, they don’t know what the task is. Nobody upstairs is watching, either to be impressed positively, or to cluck-cluck, bad boy. They think, if you women are not doing religion, then what the dickens are you women complaining about? You know perfectly well there is no system, in fact you destroyed it yourself, so why are you complaining there is no system?? They get very confused. Later they figure it all out, but by that time their biological clocks have run out, in the sense that the women their age, who understand them, are infertile and uppity, and the younger ones simply laugh at their receding hairlines. Unless they are very rich or famous.

    So, if we want certain things, we have to plan carefully, and work hard for them. That’s the bad news. The good news is that success is possible. But there is nothing particularly natural about family life, absent serious, demanding religion.

  12. Did you think you can find a guy whose family contains absolutely no sciatica? No matter who you date, he will have a mother lurking in the shadows. Or an annoying boss. Or something to natter on about, and over time you will come to care. Fine. Care. Just don’t still be caring for free, two years later, with low grade suffering and plaintiveness. It’s a common trap. It is amazing how married women get, without noticing it, and without any privileges, rules, dignity, or children. The streets are full of slightly married women that no other man will talk to. These non-relationships are carefully respected by other men. Men have rules. It’s just women who don’t. After all, men can hit. Nobody wants to be hit.

  13. There are Christian matchmakers.

    They say if you make three matches, you go straight to heaven. Everybody should be looking for their siblings and friends, all the time. The woman has to say to do that, however. Give permission.

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