Most of my dating career has been spent denouncing The Game. The Game includes, but is not limited to, the “waiting game” for calling back. Of course, it’s only a small element of the larger “Game” picture, but in the first few dates the “waiting game” is the most pressing issue.
Every book I own has an extensive chapter on waiting for the call back. From what I gather, most of the books are reassuring we sad, sad women that we may not hear from these men immediately. Appropriate time ranges from one to three days following a first date, and always…. always ALWAYS!…. the man should contact the woman. The amount of time it takes for a man to contact you also shows the amount of interest he has, but it can be complicated. A soon response? He either likes you or he wants ass. A late response? He either likes you, doesn’t like you, or wants ass. It’s up to you to divine what you will out of what you’re tossed.
I didn’t realize how much I resent the presentation of this information until I was put in a position that didn’t conform to any chapter of any book from which I’m currently scavenging for information. I got a call back. Within hours of leaving the date. In fact, I got more than one, and I got a Facebook status all about me.
I had prepared myself to wait the standard one to three days before expecting anything. And because my expectations were almost immediately shattered, it has made me super uncomfortable. Like my last post suggested, I am interested, but I am not that interested And after reading the tea leaves, he either likes me or wants a little somethin’ something’. AHHHHHHH!
I resent that every book I own assumes that each date is doing to go so well, and I am going to be SO desperate, that I will be the one sitting, waiting, wishing for a call. And of COURSE when the call comes in (or the text!) I am going to dive across the living room to respond. No where in any of these books is that an article that addresses the situation I’m in. I’d like to talk to him, but I don’t want to seem overly interested, or give the wrong impression. Obviously, if I am supposed to make an interpretation based on his timeline, won’t he be making a determination based on my response timeline? And I feel guilty because I’m playing a “game” that I clearly resent other men for playing. But there are literally no guidelines for me here. I’m making all this part of my “game” up as I go along.
Maybe I’m being overly analytical, overly cautious, or just stupid. But what do you think? If a girl is semi-interested in a person and they text her within an hour of the date happening, what is the grace period afforded to show that you’re appreciative but unsure of your level of interest?
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. ONE DAY I am going to write a book that addresses the real issues twentysomethings face in the dating game, because my needs just are not being met.